May 9, 2008


Lately I've found myself getting caught up in debates on prenatal testing and parents that either chose to abort or chose to keep and it's funny but it seems that people have a harder time understand WHY a parent would want to keep a child that has some sort of "defect" (I don't like describing it like that)...and it's led me to wonder how I would have reacted if I had known before hand about my own Gagey's health.
Would I have kept him??
Would I have decided that I couldn't handle it and opted to abort??
It scares me to think about a life where I had never known Gage.
I don't think I would be half the person I am if I had never had the privilage of being his mommy and I don't think Kris would be either. We've both grown so much in the 6 years since we were blessed with him.
I honestly do think we were chosen to be his mommy and daddy and that there is a reason for it. He was given to us.

I know a lot of people can't understand that way of thinking because when they see a child like him all they see is his disabilities and the work it takes to parent him. They don't always see past that and see what a blessing he is.

But on the flipside...if Kris and I have more children we've both decided to go ahead with prenatal testing. Obviously our hopes are for a healthy child but if the child is not healthy would we be strong enough to parent that child as well??
So much to think about....


Anonymous said...

It's a difficult debate, and one that I've been thinking about personally with bub plans, and also with discussions that came up in a recent lecture on kiddies with disabilities at uni...

I find it hard because in my own way I have a disability, too... would my parents have kept me if they knew there was going to be over 13 years of anorexia, depression, anxiety, hospital & treatment costs, the emotional turmoil... It is a different time of struggle than what you share with Gage, but it does bring up the question of where you draw the line... or IF you draw a line..

Personally, I'd have the testing... but personally, I would also have the child... For me the testing would be more about having time to prepare emotionally and materially and in a community sense to best support my child and myself... does that make sense?

But then, I also respect (accept?) that others view things differently... no matter how sad I may find that.

WIth a second child for you... yes, a lot of thinking - so many factors. Could you do it? Maybe. Maybe not. Would you want to do it? Maybe. Maybe not. Love. Love is a powerful thing. Whatever decision you made... it would not be bacause you don't value Gage or life or... it would be hard. God, I can't imagine.

I'm rambling here... just something I've been thinking about, too.

Have you ever watched Gattaca?? If not, watch it!!!

Lottie X