April 18, 2008

My 2 cents...

Earlier tonight my mom was telling me that the school Gage currently attends is going to be undergoing some big changes in the near future so of course I decide to Google and see what I can find on it...I didn't get too far into my search because I came across this...

DNR for Laremont Student

It was in someone's blog and in further search I found a few more articles on it and also a lot of disdain from the general public on this issue.
Oh and it made me mad...so VERY mad.
My first thought was who are these people to judge the decision Katie's parents have made on her behalf??
Do they live with her??
Do they know what her daily struggles are???
No...of course not.

I cannot imagine being faced with the decision to issue a DNR for Gage and I hope I never have to but in the case that I do the last thing I would want is for it to become a public issue.

I understand that it's relatively groundbreaking for a school to honor a DNR and that there is going to be debate on rather or not the parents are making a judgement based on Katie's best interest or in the interest of themselves...and this is what I believe with my whole heart...

Katie's parents have seen their daughter go through things that parents NEVER should have to see. They have had to make hard decisions her entire life.
They know her limit and they know when enough is enough.
We were not given a handbook when we were handed our special children...there is no guide for what to expect or what's going to happen next or two years down the line.
BUT we do have an intuition and I believe our intuition is maybe a bit better than the average parent. We have to learn to read our kids because they cannot tell us what they think or feel. And because of this I honestly believe that her parent's KNEW (when signing the DNR) that if there was to be anything else done to sustain her life that it would NOT be in HER best interest. It would NOT have a positive impact on her well-being and it may end up causing her to suffer in unimaginable ways.
So because they love their daughter with all of their heart they made what they feel is the best decision. And it is probably going to be the hardest and most painful decision of their lives.

I've met Katie a couple of times because she was in Gage's class his first year at Laremont and I also saw Katie and her mom interact with each other and I can say this with the utmost certainty....she LOVES her daughter and every choice she has and will make for her is based on that love.

I know that most people don't have direct contact with children like our Gage or their Katie and so I can't really blame the lack of understanding BUT I do hope you guys at least will remember what I've written the next time you hear about a parent making a hard choice for their Gage or Katie.

Until next time...be well.

P.S. I realize this article was written in the Chicago Tribune in Dec. but I just had to throw in my 2 cents after reading the publics response to it.

To add...I just read through 119 comments on this here...DNR
the majority of the comments are absurd...completely lacking tact and a lot of them are spent debating whether or not she should even be in school and one even spoke about what a waste it is to educate children like ours (I'm FUMING over this one.)
so if you can stomach it go for it.


Kim said...

I haven't read the comments, I will, but there is nothing I can stand more than judging what you do not know.
I can't imagine if we were judged publicy on making the decision for Lily's brain surgery.
Every parent must make the decisions they make based on what is best for their child and who knows better what is best but the parents.... IN MOST CASES.
When I have more time I will read those comments. And probably get pissed. :)

Anonymous said...

I am so boiling mad and I haven't even read the comments yet. People are so ignorant. Unless you have walked the walk don't talk!